Day Now On

i am very sorry.

BATU

hey myself. here some word that you keep telling yourself that it just a lying. myself , your time is over. there were so much thing happen while you keep your head down , refuse to seen by you myself.

myself , stop hurting people that you love. why should you ?. did you realize myself even though you try to make life get better , make people smile , hanging on some that you believe which is " good thing ". hey myself , some time you should know that you are really alone. look around you , where are you ? who are you ? what are you wear now ? .myself , there are no good side in you. trust me. your aren't born to be a hero or what. just turn around myself. last night was a memorable moment in your life myself. you gasper for air , alone . what are the hell dumb shit that have you done ? you body turn into some kind cold that you never felt before. it was so hurt myself. hey , myself ! fuck your self please.

myself , your life is not like others. you are different. i have told before myself , this is not the world you really want be there. you are suck myself. trust me. its time where you should go back to your place , where you should to be , stop hurting her , others. remember why others used to call you "batu". myself , stop showing your fragile heart. you never has strength. never once. myself , your time is over and shut the fuck up myself. never say a word myself. remember myself , your only have you and yourself. thats it. let others have their life. its not yours. myself , i will be with you. always. its time for you myself to go. hide it far far away deep in me. myself , its oke if you can't get up again. just keep laying down myself. your time is over.

takecare myself , i have to leave you there. you are really good friend indeed. i have to let you die , so others won't get hurt anymore. never screw up myself. your wound is so deep myself , i can't do anything about it. i'm sorry myself. bye. till we meet again myself.

p/s : NBT , NA , etc etc sorry for what myself have done. myself love you all so much.

EKOR-PARI-PARI

hey there,

saya sangat suka awak ,saya sangat sayang awak , saya sangat rindu awak. seseorang datang dan bertanya kepada saya , " hey , camne kaw ngn die?" ,"hahaha, cam tue la." , " here some advice , tak boleh ke kaw ngn die just go through je , stop jaga2 hati yang lain.? sampai bile kaw nak camni.? sampai bile kaw buleh bertahan.?" , " heh , ntah."

sejujurnya saya tidak mampu lagi hidup hipokrit menjaga hati lain sedangkan merekamereka tidak langsung mahu menghargai semua itu. saya terpaksa menikam dan membunuh perasaan ini untuk awak dan mereka. disini saya juga tahu hidup bertepuk sebelah tangan itu tidak mudah.

sejujurnya saya ingin sekali tidak mahu menghiraukan hatihati itu, saya tidak mahu kehilangan sesuatu yang sangat saya sayang. "awak". saya ingin awak menemani saya sepanjang perjalanan ini. tapi mungkinkah?. adakah awak rasa sama seperti ini.? saya tahu hanya sendiri merasa begini. tidak mengapa.

ini sekadar fakta sepanjang perjuangan ini, hampir 6000km perjalanan saya lalui. dalam mencari hanya satu peluang dan ingin melihat awak disana. memalukan diri di hadapan awak dengan hadir biarpun awak tidak mahukan kehadiran itu. saya tahu saya bukan sesuatu yang awak mahukan hadir dalam hidup awak yang sedia sukar. maafkan saya.

saya tidak pernah kisah semua itu. saya ikhlas. sekurangkurangnya saya sudah melakukan sesuatu yang betul dalam hidup ini dan memberitahu apa yang awak patut tahu.

saya ingin bersama awak seperti pasanganpasangan lain. tapi itu hanya anganangan kini. saya sangggup menanggung risiko untuk bersama awak.tapi bukan simpati yang saya mahu. ini cuma luahan hati. saya sedar kini bahawa rasional kita tidak mampu bersama. kita terlalu jauh berbeza , rupa ,asalusul , sejarah lampau. cuma disini ingin saya nyatakan , awak yang saya sangat cintai.

sekian. =)

kipas-susah-mati

"don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when i talk?

told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball."

Day Now On * kertaskeras.

i'm being such selfish person. in chasing for her. i'm forget what i have promises before. i should let her go , even it so hurting me. i should let her find something that can help her go through in this life. it not about me anymore, it all about others , it all about her.

i'm try so hard to help her , so when the time comes , she will be just fine. i'm promise to you , i will help you to get away from her. i will fix you back. just be strong okay. i know you can. here my promises. i will fix everything. everything. try to save others life. make others feels good.

and for you my dear. aku sentiasa doakan kaw. kuat. tabah. bahagia dalam menempuh hidup kaw.

just remember , sgt ramai yang sayangkan kaw. kaw tidak bersendirian. KUAT oke. =)

bye.

Day Now On * mataberdarah

lately so many things happen. pls. stop hurting me. just take care of own business. look at our life , it's okay with it. your help is just ruin others emotion. actually you not helping at all. trust me. look at your own self. how many mistake you have made , how many of them have you settle it.? i guess non of it have a nice end don't you.?

Day Now On * separate

have you seen a bird flying in the sky.? have you ever think what actually they can see everyday from up there.? why they keep flying.? aren't they scared from falling to the ground if anything happen.?we always thought that seeking for food, is it true.?

well guys, let me tell you something might be help you my friend to live in this world. especially you NA. they are so special for me. they have through many place , have facing many condition , have to fight a lot just for one reason. feed. ( survive ) . and for sure , they never done it alone. try to look outside now. you can see it by yourself. =)

me. just no body. soon i'll vanish. for 21 years i live. i have done so much wrong. till i have said to myself , " this is it. ! there is no good side inside me.". then one day , while laughing with of you guy i realize something. there still one thing i can do. LOVE EACH ONE OF YOU.

so NA , here some word for you far from the bottom of my jantunghatiku here. i'll miss you. aku sgt syg kaw. ever. but , i'm really sorry that soon i'll leave each one of you. like you said , it's for your own good.

p/s : walau ape pon yang kaw hadapi , SABAR oke. that is the key to keep me alive. trust me. =)