kerna itu yang harus aku terima.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
looking a place to hide. tears start to streaming down from the eyeball. each day , every moment past by , every time i miss you. i was looking for you each day. its true that i need you. it hurt darlin. world weight on my shoulder. i do really love you. waiting for you every second.
p /s : hanya tuhan yang tahu rasa rindu , sayang padamu setiap saat.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
there are a lot of thing that i want to tell you if there are no more space for me. surely your anger was made by me. myself. i want to say sorry for all the thing that i have done. i never meant to be do all those to you. sincerely i do trust in you. i do believe i'm the only one that make all those stupid thing. i know that it hard for you to forgive and to forget it. i have learn from my mistake. yes , it is true i'm the one who always spoiling your days. i'm the one who made your smile fade away for me. i'm the one who make you ran away. from your eyes i can see that your life much better without me. i'm sorry my love for hurting you , make you feel i'm try to control your life. instead , i'm just try to take care of you. i'm really really sorry my dear. i do love you. please give another chance. don't leave me. i don't want to lose your love , don't want you to stop loving me.
i'm know my dear , that i'm forget that you still can manage your life before i know you. even before i'm try to interfering you life. surely , my mistake won't make you came back don't you ? no matter what i'm saying now , i couldn't turn back time. you already hate , mad with me. please come back if you read this my dear. i'm begging you. i'm to scare to text or call you. i love you. please.
p/s: it been 6 day now. please love , i'm sorry. i need you. even now you don't need me. please.
Friday, January 21, 2011
hey myself. here some word that you keep telling yourself that it just a lying. myself , your time is over. there were so much thing happen while you keep your head down , refuse to seen by you myself.
myself , stop hurting people that you love. why should you ?. did you realize myself even though you try to make life get better , make people smile , hanging on some that you believe which is " good thing ". hey myself , some time you should know that you are really alone. look around you , where are you ? who are you ? what are you wear now ? .myself , there are no good side in you. trust me. your aren't born to be a hero or what. just turn around myself. last night was a memorable moment in your life myself. you gasper for air , alone . what are the hell dumb shit that have you done ? you body turn into some kind cold that you never felt before. it was so hurt myself. hey , myself ! fuck your self please.
myself , your life is not like others. you are different. i have told before myself , this is not the world you really want be there. you are suck myself. trust me. its time where you should go back to your place , where you should to be , stop hurting her , others. remember why others used to call you "batu". myself , stop showing your fragile heart. you never has strength. never once. myself , your time is over and shut the fuck up myself. never say a word myself. remember myself , your only have you and yourself. thats it. let others have their life. its not yours. myself , i will be with you. always. its time for you myself to go. hide it far far away deep in me. myself , its oke if you can't get up again. just keep laying down myself. your time is over.
takecare myself , i have to leave you there. you are really good friend indeed. i have to let you die , so others won't get hurt anymore. never screw up myself. your wound is so deep myself , i can't do anything about it. i'm sorry myself. bye. till we meet again myself.
p/s : NBT , NA , etc etc sorry for what myself have done. myself love you all so much.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
saya sangat suka awak ,saya sangat sayang awak , saya sangat rindu awak. seseorang datang dan bertanya kepada saya , " hey , camne kaw ngn die?" ,"hahaha, cam tue la." , " here some advice , tak boleh ke kaw ngn die just go through je , stop jaga2 hati yang lain.? sampai bile kaw nak camni.? sampai bile kaw buleh bertahan.?" , " heh , ntah."
sejujurnya saya tidak mampu lagi hidup hipokrit menjaga hati lain sedangkan merekamereka tidak langsung mahu menghargai semua itu. saya terpaksa menikam dan membunuh perasaan ini untuk awak dan mereka. disini saya juga tahu hidup bertepuk sebelah tangan itu tidak mudah.
sejujurnya saya ingin sekali tidak mahu menghiraukan hatihati itu, saya tidak mahu kehilangan sesuatu yang sangat saya sayang. "awak". saya ingin awak menemani saya sepanjang perjalanan ini. tapi mungkinkah?. adakah awak rasa sama seperti ini.? saya tahu hanya sendiri merasa begini. tidak mengapa.
ini sekadar fakta sepanjang perjuangan ini, hampir 6000km perjalanan saya lalui. dalam mencari hanya satu peluang dan ingin melihat awak disana. memalukan diri di hadapan awak dengan hadir biarpun awak tidak mahukan kehadiran itu. saya tahu saya bukan sesuatu yang awak mahukan hadir dalam hidup awak yang sedia sukar. maafkan saya.
saya tidak pernah kisah semua itu. saya ikhlas. sekurangkurangnya saya sudah melakukan sesuatu yang betul dalam hidup ini dan memberitahu apa yang awak patut tahu.
saya ingin bersama awak seperti pasanganpasangan lain. tapi itu hanya anganangan kini. saya sangggup menanggung risiko untuk bersama awak.tapi bukan simpati yang saya mahu. ini cuma luahan hati. saya sedar kini bahawa rasional kita tidak mampu bersama. kita terlalu jauh berbeza , rupa ,asalusul , sejarah lampau. cuma disini ingin saya nyatakan , awak yang saya sangat cintai.